Sittin' at Cf clinic.

Well, it's time for my check-up and as usual I am sick! I can be good till my appt then I get sick.... go figure. I am really feeling down today cause my van's been running like crap and my heater works when it wants to. You think my husband would offer to drive me? I even asked to drive the truck but ..... yeah right. I am feeling bad about our situation again. If I can't depend on him for a ride how am I supposed to depend on him when I'm laying flat on my back? I pray for God to have his hand in this situation. I have enough depression without feeling so uncared for & unloved. I thank God everyday for my children and their love without them I don't think I would have the mental strenth to endure much more. I know I really need to get back in to my therapist but I have been trying to get to church more often. I really don't like how I am feeling at all. I often pray for this all to just end, but I don't want to leave my kids. I am pretty certain that this is not the way I should be praying. I can't help how I feel though. It would be even nice to know others were around that cared. I rarely get phone calls from my own family anymore just to say hey I'm thinking about you and wondering how you are feeling. I bet the funeral home will be packed but where are they now? I'd rather know they give a crap now then when I'm not here. Yeah, I'm having a pity party but really. I can name at least 10 ppl right now that when I do see them they act like they care for me, but where r they now???? Hey it's my blog I guess I can vent here if I want. I have felt pressured into removing posts b-4 on here but if you don't like the truth then stop acting heartless!