I just don't know!!!

I always have so much time in between updates here, I'm into facebook but this is more of a journal so to speak. I have been really dealing with some battles with my illness. It is really starting to affect so much more than my lungs. I have an infection in the ball of my foot; which @ 1st I thought I had broken it. It is an infection, I had it padded and was wearing a soft cast to protect it. I can only describe it as a fire feeling. Apparently this is common in people with diabeties (caused from C.F.) and it could even be contributed to my rhuemotoid arthritis with is also caused from C.F. My breathing has not been good since I went on a camping trip with my family. That campfire smoke did not agree with these lungs. The sad thing about that is I LOVE camping! Another one of my passions I can't do anymore. I am seeing someone to find away to "cope". I have always been proud of myself for being a strong minded person, so unlike my mother. I think I have a little Grandma Fran in me! This disease just keeps taking from me just when I think there's no more it could take it does. The walking thing really brought me down. I thought not breathing well was bad but then not to even be able to walk without it feeling like fire was shooting in the ball of my foot and up my leg, well that was almost more than I could tolerate! I just keep getting all this other new stuff and now I hear oh, it's typical of patients with Cystic Fibrosis. I just feel like screaming.. it's attacking everything...Oh yeah, my kidneys were affected in the hospital too. they were asking me if I was on dialysis yet cause my creatine and bun #'s were elevated..yeah my buns are elevated...my tummy and my chin...they are all elevated!!! Then I get put on so many meds that of course I'm having a pill now for nausea and irratable bowel syndrome...try to much stinkin' antibiotic syndrome!!! Can someone drive me to a mountain top so I can scream and cry at the top of my lungs...oh wait a minute...I only have 23% of my lungs I can probably just do it here...Whah whah whoa is me.. I know, "get over it!" Glad I'm talking to someone, this online journalling just makes me feel crazy...let me guess it's also caused from C.F.!!! One silver lining the Michigan Pulmonary agency has paid for my batteries for my little scooter I just have to get someone to pick them up... I just can't do it...